On the wings of a paradox

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume no one here is an avid fan of the daily mail.

Today RobManuel posted this link on twitter. The tagline efficiently sums up the project as: 'Help to make sense of the Daily Mail’s ongoing effort to classify every inanimate object into those that cause cancer and those that prevent it.' The articles from which they are sourced are here.

Well.. dunno 'bout you guys, but it's good to be informed that i can reduce my chances of breast cancer by just getting morning sickness, and that radiation can apparently cause it.

Spot how many contradictions occur throughout the table. Red wine seems to be the most frequent, and each time the pill is mentioned it seems to be conclusively responsible for one or the other. Sex is another thing they're undecidedly certain about. Also 'work' re-occurs throughout the 'causes' column, and we know how daily mail readers feel about those who don't work.

I guess the truth is many of these items are responsible for solving one problem, but then cause another. Frankly, that's just the ebb and flow of life, nature and all it touches so far as i can tell.

So i guess the only thing we can learn from the daily mail today is: Sooner or later, one thing or another is going to get you. So why waste your life panicking about it in shitty newspapers?