A Prophecy

So I was sat down on my sofa, eating my battered fish and watching a cute youtube cat video, when i struck upon this thought provoking comment:



And I thought to myself: I am absolutely fucked.

Boo's skin

I can now report she is 56cm long! Or 1.8 feet, if you're insensitive enough to measure snakes with feet.

OMG guys is this what i sound like??

You and can do you do it too..

< Insert a pun about a snake here >

They are for real?

By some weird coincidence i've posted this on an april 1st. But this is a legitimate post.. because they also happen on april 1st's too.. Unlike this video. This video is 100% NOT legitimate. At least not legitimate by my standards.

While Jesus- being [physically] of middle eastern jewish origin- may well somehow have "Sea blue eyes, and a smile that lights up the heavens", it doesn't take an FBI agent to spot the carefully paced words and complete emotional disengagement symptomatic of forced lying in children. That, and the fact his father must describe most of 'his stories' for him while the kid stares blankly into space as if bored out of his skull.





PS extra points if you spot the complete lack of body language or usage of hands when describing things, the fact the adult tensely glances at the child (esp when the child hesitates) but the child does not once dare look at the adult, the child's tendancy to lean away from the adult and have his torso slightly twisted away as if ready to protect himself; the nervous movements when the dad nearly touches him (around 2:05 and 3:00); as well as the deeply cliche yet hugely vague descriptions the child is clearly being asked to give. There must be other hints about what is really going on here but i'm not good enough to spot them all.

What i'm thinking about Item #3

Problem: So you'd like some company around, but you don't want to have to engage with them all the time, because really you're too lethargic, socially inept and cold hearted to comfortably handle intimate emotional contact. You want someone who tolerates your tendancies towards snuggling up in warm hide-aways, avoiding people, not eating and staring into space thinking about things. Maybe you want the sort of company you can have around more so you can watch the interesting shit they do than anything..

Solution: Get a pet that feels the same way.



This is something i've been pondering on for a couple of weeks now, and i'm now alternating between strong yes and strong maybe. I've done most of the research i feel i need and now i just need to decide if i'm ok to take on a snake for the next 10 years or so. Theyre fairly low maintenance- only needing heat, water and a mouse once every one or two weeks, so that helps.

I'm either gonna go for a Milk Snake (see above and below) or a Corn Snake (see.. er.. google). They're both harmless, being non venomous and appparently preferring to hide than to bite. Milk snakes grow a little smaller than corn snakes and are generally prettier (although there are lots of patterns of corn snakes), but are more 'flighty' and not as docile as corn snakes. I'm not sure which to have at the moment, to be honest it will probably end up coming down to availability or something silly like that.

See how gorgeous and gentle they move:





Something else i'm looking forward to with a snake is decking out the tank:


Tank of choice will be different dimensions depending on snake but i love this jungle decor. I think the snake will appreciate plants to hide under and climb around on too, so it's win-win. It's going to be hard not to go overboard: You can buy all kinds of fake plants, fake branches and vines, even a reptile hammock, waterfalls and mini caves. Hell you can even buy fake cannabis plants. You can put soil in and grow your own tropical plants. Hey, wait a minute..

Milk snakes are nocturnal, and you can buy a 'moonlight' bulb so you can watch them at night without disturbing their day/ night cycle. Moonlit jungle tank + snake is gonna be awesome!

A friend even suggested i also add a few Horrified B-Movie Victims to help liven up the tank.. Nice thinking!



Well project Gettin' a Snake is still far from confirmed- i need a couple of days off work to get things delivered for one thing- but there you go, that's What I'm Thinking About: Item #3.

What i'm thinking about Item #2

I don't particularly i want to tell you about what i'm thinking about at the moment, but.. i would love to show you.








In case you were ever wondering, dude shows us how to fly, and just as cool, how to check over a plane. There's a whole playlist of 2-3 min tutorials on it, in fact. This is just how to get off the ground:




even cats can enjoy!








"DON'T RUN AWAY! IT'S JUST A JET!!"