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Hey there! Did you know.. that there is a liquid called 'water' that can benefit you? Thats right! Whether you’re a marathon runner in training, a mum on the go, or a school kid sitting exams (and lets face it, thats just about all the demographics there are!) then drinking water can help you be healthy! But unless you’re lucky enough to have a natural spring in your back garden (umm, unlikely), a handy supply of affordable water can be hard to come by.. after all, its not like this stuff falls from the sky and/ or this country has plumbers!
..enter our exciting new product, pure cheek water.
Drink lots of it
Our research at pure cheek labs has discovered this breakthrough fluid does more than just make you look cool, it actually enhances you too. It can increase intelligence, performance, strength and endurance. Just imagine what humanity was like before this incredible drink!
And don't forget, water isn't just for white middle class parents- white middle class kids can drink it too. Drinking water maybe an exciting new thing for you, but getting your children to try it could help their lives as well. So don't be a brainless zombie giving your kids fruit juice or ribena in their pack lunch and instead, make them feel loved by giving them a bottle of the stuff they already get free at the drinking fountain! And guess what the best thing about our water is.. it's available with zero sugar, calories, preservatives or additives! Its true.. we actually managed to make a product without them!
Local Produce
Want to help the environment? All our water comes from derbyshire, so it's a local product to the entire country!
And don’t worry about lugging round ridiculously huge vats of bottled water- pure cheek is available in a convenient type of container called bottles! And ours are perfectly formed, so perfect for your work desktop!
Plus, get all this hydration handiness won’t break the bank either! Packs are available on your supermarket shelves now at totally affordable prices* because unlike the third world, you're getting this stuff pumped to your house on tap already.. and how can that be convenient for you!?
*providing you're a middle class family, of course. I mean who else needs water anyway??
wow! its so good to see a fellow H2Oaphile on the internet! my family has been lending there name to water (other than the name "water") for years and as the discoverers of such a miracle drink we welcome any positive feedback! keep this up and there might be a place for you on our Water Apreciation National Kommunity Environment Rangers team!!!
ReplyDeletesigned (digitally) Mr Buxton
To be honest, because of the subtle differences between water sources, I prefer the stuff that comes out of the taps at home.
ReplyDeleteGuess its just what I've been raised on.
i have to say i dont actually have anything personal against bottled water, though i do think its rather over rated. what i object to is the way its sold.. like it's some miracle health-giving product devised by nestle labs or something, that we never knew of before. and also, the high price, given that its something that literally falls from the sky, flows from the ground and gathers in lakes. our bodies are 70% made from it.. yet they're trying to sell it like some precious commodity. i'm still taken back by the whole 'an affordable source is hard to come by' selling point.. ffs, this is the first world!
ReplyDelete