.. but im sure you were hoping to hear something new.
these days i tend to lose track of the days, but luckily twitters little trending topics feature keeps me updated with any important key notes for the day.
Apparently, today is eu election day. (on a quick side note, spot the comical automated spam messages) I didnt realise this, which pretty much sums up how much ive been anticipating it. It's not that i don't care its just that looking at my options, theyre all the same: All my opinions will be made for me by a guy i've never met and theres no guarantee im going to like all of them.
I'll probably be hated for this but personally i think democracy is a bit of a joke in its current state. It seems to me the ballot paper is some kind of gimmick to make you feel better, and for the politicians to have a fun little competition over. The single tick i give on a ballot paper does *not* represent all my thoughts, opinions and suggestions for the state of the country, what we stand for and what we should be doing. It's just my authorisation to delegate this to somebody who is apparently, in his own boastful egocentric words, far more responsible, trustworthy, intelligent, experienced, caring, educated, aware, charmingly handsome and generally more capable at solving all societies problems than anyone else in the country. As if such human beings could possibly exist.
I probably wouldn't mind so much if it were possible for everyones subtley different opinions to be catergorised comfortably into a small handful of political packages. At least then i could vote for a party that apparently shares ALL my views, as could everyone else, and politics would be efficiently easy.
On trending topics someone posted a link to a very helpful website, that essentially demonstrates this problem.
Well, as i suspected, the truth is my closest (i emphasise closest) 'result' did not match me particularly closely. Ok so you agree it would be nice for doctors to access my records in an emergency but i disagree with your attitude to international peacekeeping missions, oooh.. conflicts..
Whilst doing the questionnaire though, a very important question crosses my mind.
Where are all the answers to these questions going?
They're going to a server, which is going to compute which of the given political packages in my area most closely approximates my opinions on the above given topics.. so that i can cast a vote which may or may not contribute to the choice of a politician who will then paraphrase most of the answers of his voters, if it suits him.
but wait.. why dont you just send all my- and everyone elses- answers straight to the EU, and make your little pie charts straight from that? after all, a lot of us probably agree on the same core topics anyway?
you know what, fuck the middle man. Why should the middle man's opinions override mine? and if we must have one, why do we all have to share one? and whats the middle man doing anyway except buying houses? if 70% of the country have stated they think something is right or wrong, surely (if democracy is followed) all thats left is to implement it? i which case should we really be selecting implementors based on their opinions, rather than straight up competance? in which case shouldn't we start replacing elections with intelligence tests?
One day, one day people.. i'll be the government and then you'll all see..
Well, i have read your ost and i believe that you are entitled to your opinions, but here at the conservative party (TM) we strive to represent the people who elect us. At least we claim to before we are elected, then, like any other political party, we get into power and realise that all the things we said we would do that made us popular with people we can't actually deliver. However, as a politician i must try to convince you to tick a piece of paper with my name on it so i can at least get into the position to fail miserably and continue the pointless, politically correct ramblings that have been around since democracy was invented. Im glad ive had this chance to put over my views, i must go now and mop up the gallons of slime that have fallen off me as i typed this message, as it is a health and safety hazard. Dont forget that we at the Conservative Party (TM) are down wiv da kids, (i have a blog and a webcam and everything) so we know what the people really want. Word to your mother, im gonna bust a cap in that foo' browns arse!
ReplyDeleteHELLO THERE! and greetings on behalf of the Monster Raving Loony Party!!! After Cameron posted on this jolly fine blog, he added it to his twitter in a vain attempt at getting publicity and proving that he can use a computer! I thought id throw my rather fabulous coloured hat into the ring to try and get your vote! We here at the Monster Raving Loony Party believe that all sausages must be painted red and be eaten using only string, a pogo stick and an elephant shaped hairdryer! also we will abolish MP's expenses, in return all of our elected MP's will pay YOU! Public transport if of key concern to our party. we believe that buses are a thing of the past and that unicycles pulled by stuffed polar bears are a greener, more efficient way of getting in and around town. We have no plans to continue the war on terror, instead we plan to declare WAR, on depression! all citizens of this fine country will be drafted into the 1st Royal Clown Battallion and given free baggy trousers to wear! We shall all look rather dashing won't we!? if you believe in change, sausages, dead polar bears and baggy trousers, why not vote Monster Raving Loony Party, as our slogan goes: "Bottom Fish Bananas, and etc"
ReplyDeletelol these are good. do bnp.. i want bnp to write to me
ReplyDeleteHello from the BNP. There have been a lot of negative stories about us in the media in the run up to these elections, and ive decided to try and address people on a more personal level. Just because we believe in a free country for those who live in it, is that such a bad thing? Just because we feel that our country is overrun by immigrants taking our jobs, is that such a bad thing? Just because we believe that having a different colour of skin is a good enough reason to have your head kicked in, that all immigrants should be shot on entrance to the country, and the hitler was "misunderstood" is that such a bad thing!? Our policies include FREE skin head haircuts for all voters. This is because we realise in these difficult financial times, money is better being spent on the essential things in life, like a new england/ bulldog tattoo, brass knuckles and of course, special brew. Another essential policy is to change every citizens surname to Smith. Anyone with a remotely different sounding or god help us FOREIGN sounding surname will either be deported or shot on sight. I hope you can see that voting BNP is a vote for freedom, and a better, brighter, whiter future.
ReplyDelete*id just like to point out that the ACTUAL writer of this post does not believe in any of the policies listed above, just incase anyone who has no concept of irony is reading!!
Thanks dave your enlightened views have changed my life for the better. i now live in fear of anything not uncompromisingly "british". except of course curries
ReplyDeleteYes, i love curries also! Me and the chaps often go out for a curry, then head back to one of my 3 homes to play some wee x-station games! Im very good at professional association soccer 2009, although i often like to "Rock out" on the rock and roll band simulation game, such good clean fun! Another jolly good fun hobby of mine is using the mybookface! although for some reason it says i have no friends.....
ReplyDelete(to readers of the blog: id like to point out these aren't being written by me, for one thing that would mean i was writing to myself which couldnt possibly happen)
ReplyDeletehad a quick look for the MRLP to check if any of those policies were actually in their manifesto.. sadly no but they do have some pretty good ones! manifesto
ReplyDelete