Deep last night i was listening to Vespertine, by Bjork, one of the sexiest and most romantic albums i've ever heard; rivalled only by a few things in Trent Reznor's discography.
But this morning I woke up to my old rant at people who compare Portishead and Bjork, or worse, put them in the same category. Seriously, what the fuck? One prances around in gaudy costumes spewing high pitched, over-excited semi-icelandic gibberish about sex and wanting to explode, the other is a whole band fronted by a woman who sits in darkened rooms drinking and chain smoking, writing profoundly depressing suicidal songs to music that isn't any more uplifting. If someone can point out the comparison between the two, other than they are female (i mean theres a lot of people out there with the same gender as another person these days) that'd be smashing.
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
the un-last post
a while back i mentioned something about a 'last post'. Obviously that has since transpired to be a total lie, but not an intentional one i assure you. Here i can exclusively reveal that this was intended to be the last post, had i not been unintentionally lying. It comes as i was thinking about it today after watching this alternative rickroll (does it count as a rickroll if you know what you're about to see?)
I'm not a heavily materialistic person, I only tend to hoard things on account of not being very good at getting rid of them, but this is countered by me not buying a lot of stuff in the first place. That said, i have made an effort to actively collect two things: NIN Halos, (of which i own 21, plus a vinyl single) and sexy anime statuettes. This is a shamelessly proud, boastful display of the latter.
I'll start with the least interesting one..
The Huntress
This is my first 'proper' statue, whom i bought at the london MCM expo 2 years ago. According to the packaging, which is mostly in japanese, she is apparently a character in an RPG that doesn't appear to have been heard of outside japan. She carries a bow, a katana and a scroll.
The Tokyo Demon Girls
They do have names, Bloodsucker (the pink one), Souleater (the blue one) and Brainjacker (the green one) . Beyond this, i havent managed to work out where they come from.. i assume they were created and designed purely as models.
These girls actually came straight from Akihabara, the mekka of otaku world. Me and claudio discovered their vending machine outside a shop under the railway one night while exploring the area. The number we managed to buy was sadly limited by the spare coins in our wallets, and by the time we managed to change a couple notes into coins at a nearby arcade, their vending machine had been taken inside for the night :( between us though, i think we managed to get all 5 models plus some duplicates.
They cost 500yen (about £2) each and came neatly packed inside vending machine pods in parts that had to be fitted together, kinder surprise style. You can see the ones i didnt get in the leaflet. I'm pretty sure the street shown is where they came from- the yellow store on the left side, i remember the fact it was under railway track and had a canopy.
The Skater
Her real name is Ringo Noyamano from a daft series called AirGear. It can be described as being for skating what Akira is for motobikes.
Bizarrely, her character in the show is nothing like what you'd think her statue suggests. For a start, her hair is a different colour. Oh, and she wears glasses. Also, she never pulls anything like that expression. Ever. And lastly.. this model comes with a complimentary bag to put on her head. Thats right, you read me. No, i have no fucking clue. I sat through about 10 episodes of air gear one night and i have even less of a clue.
The Nurse
far and away she is my most prized. The pictures really say most of what there is to say about her. In addition to being the most gorgeous she is also limited edition.
Her uniform comes off (so do her glasses) and if you do so, she will look at bit like she does below. I have yet to try it- her coat isn't actually very flexible and i'm scared of breaking or stretching it somehow, so its a pleasure that will have to wait til i have a nice strong man who isn't scared to do it for me.
The EVA pilots
These were the first figures i got. They seem chunky and crude now, but when i first got them i had seen nothing like it and i thought they were awesome. The artist has somewhat deviated from the original character designs and given them little ears and tails to match their personalities.. Rei is a cat with a.. thing on a chain, and Asuka is a monkey, with a knife stuck in the head of a cute little lillith monkey.. how could i resist!
And lastly..
The Warlock
This one is different from the rest, most notably because, she isn't finished yet. Thats because i'm personally making her, from scratch, with fimo. Other polyester clays are available.
Rothki is my world of warcraft character, with whom i have had many fun adventures exploring the alien forests of zangarmarsh, the xen-like floating space rocks of the netherstorm, and most recently bumming around northrend, finding secret icey beaches at the bottom of cliffs and being chased into the sea by giants and being rescued from remote icebergs by passing ghost ships manned by zombies and digging up old viking graves to help the walrus people and their turtle ferry that took me to a barren icey desert of ancient dragons and so on.. Fun times.
She trains as an engineer, so she makes bombs and guns and goggles and gadgets and various things what'll blow stuff up. At the moment i'm saving up the materials to make a helicopter, which should be cool once i get the freaking gold to train to ride it. Also as a warlock she is master at all sinister disease-ridden magics, and spells that can blow stuff up. You may be seeing a theme here.. I wasnt pissed at the world when i created her or anything. She is also endowed with the gift of summoning demons as her slave pets, kinkiest of all being the succubus, of whom i might make a model next.. so stand by.
As you can see from the sketches, the intention is that she'll be holding a gun in one hand; i may make a sacrificial knife for the other.
Sadly, i don't have any good ingame pictures of Rothki.. So you'll have to make do with the montage of screenshots i took that one time for that one blog i was going to do about the vivid re-imagining of my childhood as i discovered the roger dean-like netherstorm and its ecodomes whilst listening to tangerine dream. Also included: sketches of her & zangarmarsh i did a year ago and a sketch from 2 years ago.
And so far, thats all folks. I havent't seen anymore i'd like, but i havent been looking. Anyway i'll leave u with this thought.
Oh, and interesting facts: this was going to be titled 'My girlfriends' but then i read this article..
I'm not a heavily materialistic person, I only tend to hoard things on account of not being very good at getting rid of them, but this is countered by me not buying a lot of stuff in the first place. That said, i have made an effort to actively collect two things: NIN Halos, (of which i own 21, plus a vinyl single) and sexy anime statuettes. This is a shamelessly proud, boastful display of the latter.
I'll start with the least interesting one..
The Huntress
This is my first 'proper' statue, whom i bought at the london MCM expo 2 years ago. According to the packaging, which is mostly in japanese, she is apparently a character in an RPG that doesn't appear to have been heard of outside japan. She carries a bow, a katana and a scroll.
The Tokyo Demon Girls
They do have names, Bloodsucker (the pink one), Souleater (the blue one) and Brainjacker (the green one) . Beyond this, i havent managed to work out where they come from.. i assume they were created and designed purely as models.
These girls actually came straight from Akihabara, the mekka of otaku world. Me and claudio discovered their vending machine outside a shop under the railway one night while exploring the area. The number we managed to buy was sadly limited by the spare coins in our wallets, and by the time we managed to change a couple notes into coins at a nearby arcade, their vending machine had been taken inside for the night :( between us though, i think we managed to get all 5 models plus some duplicates.
They cost 500yen (about £2) each and came neatly packed inside vending machine pods in parts that had to be fitted together, kinder surprise style. You can see the ones i didnt get in the leaflet. I'm pretty sure the street shown is where they came from- the yellow store on the left side, i remember the fact it was under railway track and had a canopy.
The Skater
Her real name is Ringo Noyamano from a daft series called AirGear. It can be described as being for skating what Akira is for motobikes.
Bizarrely, her character in the show is nothing like what you'd think her statue suggests. For a start, her hair is a different colour. Oh, and she wears glasses. Also, she never pulls anything like that expression. Ever. And lastly.. this model comes with a complimentary bag to put on her head. Thats right, you read me. No, i have no fucking clue. I sat through about 10 episodes of air gear one night and i have even less of a clue.
The Nurse
far and away she is my most prized. The pictures really say most of what there is to say about her. In addition to being the most gorgeous she is also limited edition.
Her uniform comes off (so do her glasses) and if you do so, she will look at bit like she does below. I have yet to try it- her coat isn't actually very flexible and i'm scared of breaking or stretching it somehow, so its a pleasure that will have to wait til i have a nice strong man who isn't scared to do it for me.
The EVA pilots
These were the first figures i got. They seem chunky and crude now, but when i first got them i had seen nothing like it and i thought they were awesome. The artist has somewhat deviated from the original character designs and given them little ears and tails to match their personalities.. Rei is a cat with a.. thing on a chain, and Asuka is a monkey, with a knife stuck in the head of a cute little lillith monkey.. how could i resist!
And lastly..
The Warlock
This one is different from the rest, most notably because, she isn't finished yet. Thats because i'm personally making her, from scratch, with fimo. Other polyester clays are available.
Rothki is my world of warcraft character, with whom i have had many fun adventures exploring the alien forests of zangarmarsh, the xen-like floating space rocks of the netherstorm, and most recently bumming around northrend, finding secret icey beaches at the bottom of cliffs and being chased into the sea by giants and being rescued from remote icebergs by passing ghost ships manned by zombies and digging up old viking graves to help the walrus people and their turtle ferry that took me to a barren icey desert of ancient dragons and so on.. Fun times.
She trains as an engineer, so she makes bombs and guns and goggles and gadgets and various things what'll blow stuff up. At the moment i'm saving up the materials to make a helicopter, which should be cool once i get the freaking gold to train to ride it. Also as a warlock she is master at all sinister disease-ridden magics, and spells that can blow stuff up. You may be seeing a theme here.. I wasnt pissed at the world when i created her or anything. She is also endowed with the gift of summoning demons as her slave pets, kinkiest of all being the succubus, of whom i might make a model next.. so stand by.
As you can see from the sketches, the intention is that she'll be holding a gun in one hand; i may make a sacrificial knife for the other.
Sadly, i don't have any good ingame pictures of Rothki.. So you'll have to make do with the montage of screenshots i took that one time for that one blog i was going to do about the vivid re-imagining of my childhood as i discovered the roger dean-like netherstorm and its ecodomes whilst listening to tangerine dream. Also included: sketches of her & zangarmarsh i did a year ago and a sketch from 2 years ago.
And so far, thats all folks. I havent't seen anymore i'd like, but i havent been looking. Anyway i'll leave u with this thought.
Oh, and interesting facts: this was going to be titled 'My girlfriends' but then i read this article..
Friday, 17 July 2009
*insert a title relevant to brains here*
theres a couple of points i'd like to make in regards to this video.
1. I have a huge number of posts that have been started and never finished, simply because i forgot about them. Many never make it to 'create blog' page. This is a trend that exists pretty much throughout my life. It has not been helping my current situation. There are two that have been waiting all week, another several planned out but never begun, hopefully you'll see some of them soon. My point is, it's not that i haven't got a lot to blog about, it's that they all 'run over' each other and you only see the ones that are strong enough to survive long enough to get themselves published.
2. I'm glad i saw this vid.
3. I actually had to pause this vid twice so i could go have a quick run round the house about something, i dont really remember what for.
4. My own personal solution to this problem has been to read terry pratchett as much as possible when i'm doing something that doesnt need to be done. It's effective, where i remember to do it.
5. The last line is corny. Lets ignore the last line.
6. I need to stop thinking of any more points so i'll still have time for a shower and possibly even eat today.
1. I have a huge number of posts that have been started and never finished, simply because i forgot about them. Many never make it to 'create blog' page. This is a trend that exists pretty much throughout my life. It has not been helping my current situation. There are two that have been waiting all week, another several planned out but never begun, hopefully you'll see some of them soon. My point is, it's not that i haven't got a lot to blog about, it's that they all 'run over' each other and you only see the ones that are strong enough to survive long enough to get themselves published.
2. I'm glad i saw this vid.
3. I actually had to pause this vid twice so i could go have a quick run round the house about something, i dont really remember what for.
4. My own personal solution to this problem has been to read terry pratchett as much as possible when i'm doing something that doesnt need to be done. It's effective, where i remember to do it.
5. The last line is corny. Lets ignore the last line.
6. I need to stop thinking of any more points so i'll still have time for a shower and possibly even eat today.
Sunday, 5 July 2009
How to have happy fun love time, by a dolphin
I've been reading a (non fiction) book, and I got to some pages I felt compelled to rip out and share with all of you.
First, some "quick notes" about the book so you know what the fuck is going on. Dr. John Lilly was a scientist who did things like experimenting on animal brains. He then studied & trained dolphins for the military. He became fascinated by them and started doing his own experiments, which included observing them trip out on LSD. He left and set up his own research base, to study dolphin psychology, hopefully break their language down, and maybe even attempt to communicate with them..
This particular study involved a dolphin and a human female living together, in a specially flooded flat, for two and a half months. The girl had to play with the dolphin every day, and attempt to teach him sounds for things (dolphins can make noises that mimick human sounds) which seemed to work with varying success on different dolphins.
In this chapter Margaret (the human) reports how things went. In these pages, she observes that some learning did take place, but not necessarily the type planned. In short, the dolphin turned out to have his own curriculum for her..
Note that she has previously been discouraging Peter (the dolphin) from coming too close with an open mouth- dolphin teeth can draw blood, and their bite can break limbs. Also if you don't like where its going, well.. sorry!
So anyway. click the pics!:
First, some "quick notes" about the book so you know what the fuck is going on. Dr. John Lilly was a scientist who did things like experimenting on animal brains. He then studied & trained dolphins for the military. He became fascinated by them and started doing his own experiments, which included observing them trip out on LSD. He left and set up his own research base, to study dolphin psychology, hopefully break their language down, and maybe even attempt to communicate with them..
This particular study involved a dolphin and a human female living together, in a specially flooded flat, for two and a half months. The girl had to play with the dolphin every day, and attempt to teach him sounds for things (dolphins can make noises that mimick human sounds) which seemed to work with varying success on different dolphins.
In this chapter Margaret (the human) reports how things went. In these pages, she observes that some learning did take place, but not necessarily the type planned. In short, the dolphin turned out to have his own curriculum for her..
Note that she has previously been discouraging Peter (the dolphin) from coming too close with an open mouth- dolphin teeth can draw blood, and their bite can break limbs. Also if you don't like where its going, well.. sorry!
So anyway. click the pics!:
the lovely old mayflower lady
I was in town today and I walked past an old lady sitting on the side of a walled flower bed on the wide pavement between the railway and the back of the Mayflower theatre.
There was a bag in front of her in the middle of the pavement which I guessed was hers. Assuming she'd want help picking it up, I asked if it was hers, and she explained she had to put it there so the 'pests' in the flowerbed wouldn't get it. She then started telling me about pest control, and, well, her life. She struck me as rather intelligent and knowledgeable, but slowly losing it. And the fact she told me about having voices in her head, being depressed and having just spent a month in a hospital for mental health, shows things were obviously not helping her. There were odd comments that made me think of Requiem for a Dream and the Dark Side of the Moon if either of those titles mean anything to you.
Anyway, she talked for a long time, and one thing she said that i really liked was this:
Apparently she went to the tescos to buy some steak. On her way back she saw a girl under some blankets looking miserable. So she gave her a pack of cigarettes.
I laughed, 'really? you gave her a pack of cigarettes?' thinking, how do you know she even smoked?
The old lady looks back at me, slightly confused and completely serious.. 'Well of course i did.. What else do you do? She looked so miserable!'
Im falling in love with a vision of society 50-60 years ago that is so distant from where we are now that it seems almost bizarre and shocking.
There was a bag in front of her in the middle of the pavement which I guessed was hers. Assuming she'd want help picking it up, I asked if it was hers, and she explained she had to put it there so the 'pests' in the flowerbed wouldn't get it. She then started telling me about pest control, and, well, her life. She struck me as rather intelligent and knowledgeable, but slowly losing it. And the fact she told me about having voices in her head, being depressed and having just spent a month in a hospital for mental health, shows things were obviously not helping her. There were odd comments that made me think of Requiem for a Dream and the Dark Side of the Moon if either of those titles mean anything to you.
Anyway, she talked for a long time, and one thing she said that i really liked was this:
Apparently she went to the tescos to buy some steak. On her way back she saw a girl under some blankets looking miserable. So she gave her a pack of cigarettes.
I laughed, 'really? you gave her a pack of cigarettes?' thinking, how do you know she even smoked?
The old lady looks back at me, slightly confused and completely serious.. 'Well of course i did.. What else do you do? She looked so miserable!'
Im falling in love with a vision of society 50-60 years ago that is so distant from where we are now that it seems almost bizarre and shocking.
Friday, 3 July 2009
oh, hurrah!
The following article is inspired by stupid, stupid adverts like this. Well not so much inspired as largely paraphrased- actually partly paraphrased and partly copied. Guess which bits are which if you like..
Hey there! Did you know.. that there is a liquid called 'water' that can benefit you? Thats right! Whether you’re a marathon runner in training, a mum on the go, or a school kid sitting exams (and lets face it, thats just about all the demographics there are!) then drinking water can help you be healthy! But unless you’re lucky enough to have a natural spring in your back garden (umm, unlikely), a handy supply of affordable water can be hard to come by.. after all, its not like this stuff falls from the sky and/ or this country has plumbers!
..enter our exciting new product, pure cheek water.
Drink lots of it
Our research at pure cheek labs has discovered this breakthrough fluid does more than just make you look cool, it actually enhances you too. It can increase intelligence, performance, strength and endurance. Just imagine what humanity was like before this incredible drink!
And don't forget, water isn't just for white middle class parents- white middle class kids can drink it too. Drinking water maybe an exciting new thing for you, but getting your children to try it could help their lives as well. So don't be a brainless zombie giving your kids fruit juice or ribena in their pack lunch and instead, make them feel loved by giving them a bottle of the stuff they already get free at the drinking fountain! And guess what the best thing about our water is.. it's available with zero sugar, calories, preservatives or additives! Its true.. we actually managed to make a product without them!
Local Produce
Want to help the environment? All our water comes from derbyshire, so it's a local product to the entire country!
And don’t worry about lugging round ridiculously huge vats of bottled water- pure cheek is available in a convenient type of container called bottles! And ours are perfectly formed, so perfect for your work desktop!
Plus, get all this hydration handiness won’t break the bank either! Packs are available on your supermarket shelves now at totally affordable prices* because unlike the third world, you're getting this stuff pumped to your house on tap already.. and how can that be convenient for you!?
*providing you're a middle class family, of course. I mean who else needs water anyway??
* * * * * *
Hey there! Did you know.. that there is a liquid called 'water' that can benefit you? Thats right! Whether you’re a marathon runner in training, a mum on the go, or a school kid sitting exams (and lets face it, thats just about all the demographics there are!) then drinking water can help you be healthy! But unless you’re lucky enough to have a natural spring in your back garden (umm, unlikely), a handy supply of affordable water can be hard to come by.. after all, its not like this stuff falls from the sky and/ or this country has plumbers!
..enter our exciting new product, pure cheek water.
Drink lots of it
Our research at pure cheek labs has discovered this breakthrough fluid does more than just make you look cool, it actually enhances you too. It can increase intelligence, performance, strength and endurance. Just imagine what humanity was like before this incredible drink!
And don't forget, water isn't just for white middle class parents- white middle class kids can drink it too. Drinking water maybe an exciting new thing for you, but getting your children to try it could help their lives as well. So don't be a brainless zombie giving your kids fruit juice or ribena in their pack lunch and instead, make them feel loved by giving them a bottle of the stuff they already get free at the drinking fountain! And guess what the best thing about our water is.. it's available with zero sugar, calories, preservatives or additives! Its true.. we actually managed to make a product without them!
Local Produce
Want to help the environment? All our water comes from derbyshire, so it's a local product to the entire country!
And don’t worry about lugging round ridiculously huge vats of bottled water- pure cheek is available in a convenient type of container called bottles! And ours are perfectly formed, so perfect for your work desktop!
Plus, get all this hydration handiness won’t break the bank either! Packs are available on your supermarket shelves now at totally affordable prices* because unlike the third world, you're getting this stuff pumped to your house on tap already.. and how can that be convenient for you!?
*providing you're a middle class family, of course. I mean who else needs water anyway??
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Something Lawful
If you're the kind of person that's in awe of the hilarious stupidity of some people- you know, like hairdryers that come with warnings not to use them in the shower- then (if u dont already know it) i may have the blog for you. Lowering the bar is written by a guy in the law 'industry' about real life cases that are fucking stupid. Recent examples include a woman suing 'cap'n crunch' because she found out the crunchberries cereal was not made of real berries (hey if you dont believe me, the document is here) ; and a Taiwanese man who racked up a $2million debt in a las vegas casino, managed to leave the USA with this debt unpaid but came back to sue them because he blamed the presence of his hotel room towels. Just remember: if you ever need a good laugh, there's always humanity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)